An old photo of me dressed reluctantly as a little devil for a fancy dress at my kindergarten. I HATED going like this — and felt really embarrassed. Not sure why I have chosen this photo to go with this poem — but perhaps it’s facing up to the fear inside, and the fear outside. And of now owning who I am and wan’t to be :)

Follow my lead

Follow
their lead
to
show me
the
way.

Follow
my lead
to
show them
the
way.

Who leads,
and
who follows
who?

At the heart of a lot of things right now for me,
is this.

The fear of leading the way in my life,
and owning what I do — and don’t want.

You see it’s been easy to follow all these years.

To react to what has come my way.
To deflect, dodge, adapt and deal with.
And to blame others — when it doesn’t go my way.

I know it’s better to rely on myself
and not have too many others truly rely on me.

And it’s exhausting.
And lonely.

And so I say
today,

I will lead
my way,

Come
what may.